You may or may not know that I have recently come back from 10 days in Turkey and Dubai. I have been working on writing about the trip but it’s taking a lot longer than anticipated. Therefore here is a bit of blog worthy stuff to keep you going……..


You know you have lived in the Gulf too long when:

- You need a sweater when it's 27oC
- Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
- You send friends a map instead of your address - love google earth!!
- You believe that speed limits are only advisory - 170km, not that fast right???
- Your definition of a nanosecond is the time interval between the time the light turns green and the time that the guy behind you begins to blow his horn
- You're not surprised when you see a goat in a pick up truck - and we are not in New Zealand
- You can't buy anything without asking for a discount
- You expect all stores to stay open till midnight
- You make left turns from the far right lane
- You understand why huge 4x4s must slow down to a snail's pace whilst crossing a speed bump yet hurtle through a wadi (pool of water) at 100kph
- You think it perfectly normal to have a picnic in the middle of a roundabout at 11pm and it’s the perfect place for drop off, pick up and catching a cab!
- You know exactly how much alcohol allowance you have left for the month
- You don’t say Saturday instead of Friday or Monday instead of Sunday anymore
- You accept that there is no point in asking why you are not allowed to do something
- You expect queues to be 1 person deep and 40 people wide
- You realize that the black and white stripes in the road are not a zebra crossing, just bait to get tourists into the firing line
- You know what night is ladies night at every bar in town
- Seeing guys welcome each other with a kiss no longer disgusts you
- You carry 12 passport size photos around with you just in case
- You can tell the time by listening to the local mosque
- You think its a good night if there are fewer than 10 men for every woman in a bar
- Phrases like 'potato peeler', 'dish washer', and 'fly swatter' are no longer household items but job titles
- You start to say "Insha'allah" when you actually mean "No f**king chance!"
- You overtake a police car at 130km/hr
- A problem with your car AC is more serious to you than a problem with the brakes
- You smoke a shisha in public without expecting to be arrested
- You think only men should hold hands in public
- You expect to go to jail when a local hits the back of your car at a stop sign